Life After LeBron: How Izulde Jestor Saved Cleveland

[Tim Moungey]

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"A change of environment is the traditional fallacy upon which doomed loves, and lungs, rely." - Vladimir Nabokov - Lolita

But of course, the quote doesn't quite fit. LeBron and Cleveland were indeed a doomed love affair, but the changed environment was a solitary act, Knave James hying it to Miami with Dwyane and Chris, leaving behind a city of rusted and cracked hearts.

You know me by now, most of you. The name of Izulde Jestor is one made famous in basketball circles for the various of philosophical texts attached to its name, works that some call revolutionary.

This admittedly dubious acquisition of fame has led me to be offered, and to accept, the position of Cleveland Cavaliers GM. The task ahead of me is a difficult one, made all the more so by it taking until just before Halloween for Dan Gilbert to come out of his depression, fire the sad sack predecessor, and hire me.

Looking over the roster, we are an almost certain lottery team now. We're rated the 29th worst team in the league, in point of fact. Our best player is also 33 years old.

Time to make changes.

Cleveland Cavaliers receive
C Omer Asik
PF Taj Gibson

Chicago Bulls receive
PF J.J. Hickson
PF Samardo Samuels

What this means for the Cavaliers
Gibson, 25, gives Cleveland a promising young rebounding specialist. He'll see time in the starting lineup at one of the forward spots. Asik is a 7' Turkish rookie taken in the 2nd round. He's raw, but Izulde Jestor loves Asik's upside, especially in the intangibles. For now, he'll come off the bench, but further moves could see him start.

What this means for the Bulls
Chicago wants to challenge the Heat and Hickson gives them a slightly more ready now player than Asik, as well as a player who can occupy both the 4 and 5. Samuels is a throw-in.

Winner: Cleveland
The Bulls actually lose rebounding ability with this deal, although it will mostly affect their bench boarding. Hickson doesn't look that good in our eyes, whereas the Cavaliers start rebuilding.

Am I done yet?

Cleveland Cavaliers receive
SG Joe Johnson
PG Mike Bibby

Atlanta Hawks receive
PG Mo Williams
PF Antawn Jamison

What this means for the Cavaliers
Johnson, 28, has one of the ugliest contracts in the league, but he'll be the Cavs' new star as the shooting guard. Bibby is a better floor general than Williams, which suits Jestorball better. Taj Gibson also moves over to his more natural spot of PF.

What this means for the Hawks
This deal was more or less a salary dump for Atlanta, who take inferior players in order to rid themselves of Johnson's contract. Jamison and Williams are named starters, but there's no question the Hawks are going to be worse now.

Winner: Cavaliers
Cleveland has the cap space to absorb Johnson's contract and will build around the 28 year old over the next few seasons. Bibby's 32, but he's still got game.

That gives us a new lineup of:
PG Mike Bibby
SG Joe Johnson
SF Anthony Parker
PF Taj Gibson
C Anderson Varejao

I'll roll with that for now. I can always throw Byron Scott over.

We upset the Celtics 108-93 in Boston to open the season. Joe Johnson sparkles for 32 points, but the guy on everybody's lips the next day is Omer Asik, who put up 20 points, 12 rebounds and 2 blocks off the bench. I feel like a genius right about now.

2-0, crushing the Bobcats 96-77 in our home opener. Joe Johnson scores 33 and has 9 steals. Anderson Varejao doubles for 10 points and 11 rebounds. Taj Gibson sprains his ankle and is day-to-day for 2 weeks.

Another 32 points from Joe Johnson, but this time we lose 119-96 to the Hornets. Jamario Moon's 14 bench points go for naught along with Anderson Varajeo's 13 points, 11 rebounds, and 5 assists.

Joe Johnson finally scores below 32, held to just 22 points, but we shoot horribly in a 104-96 loss to the Mavericks, even though Omer Asik's 13 bench boards gave us a lot of second chances.

Well, we'll see what Omer Asik is made of sooner rather than later. Anderson Varejao breaks his leg and is out over 2 months.

Chicago shows off its championship chops as the Bulls mash us 114-86 in Cleveland. Joe Johnson's 20 points and Daniel Gibson's 11 bench points didn't look like much.

I hate doubleheaders. I hate them even more when we lose both games. 106-85 loss to Indiana, 28 points from Joe Johnson, 13 bench points from Ryan Hollins. And here's Joe Johnson's 24 points laughable in a 107-83 loss to the Bulls.

Finally, the losing streak snaps. We beat the Bucks 112-99 on Joe Johnson's 39 points and 15 and 13 bench points from Jamario Moon and Ryan Hollins.

Joe Johnson's 30 points are a sad, lonely highlight in a 116-98 loss to the Nuggets. The former Hog needs help.

Raja Bell holds Joe Johnson to 5/24 shooting and we lose 84-83 to the Jazz. Somebody shoot me now. Ryan Hollins with the 15 bench points.

97 points in both games of a doubleheader. Both losses. Joe Johnson with 35 against the Nets in the first game, Ramon Sessions irritating me with 10 points, 7 assists and 7 turnovers off the bench. 18 points from Ramon Sessions, 11 from Ryan Hollins, as our starters stink against the Pistons.

At least we beat Atlanta 115-101. Joe Johnson leads the way with 26 points, all five starters score 10+ points, and Mike Bibby nabs his first double-double of the year with 16 points and 13 assists.

Another back-to-back and we sweep against two subpar teams. Superlative all-around game of 34 points, 8 rebounds, and 7 assists from Joe Johnson in a 119-110 scorefest over the Knicks, but I'm happier about Omer Asik's 24 points and absolutely smackdown of Amare Stoudamire. Ryan Hollins continues his overachieving season with 13 points and 10 rebounds off the bench. Our 104-82 win vs. Oklahoma came via Joe Johnson's 31 points and 4 steals and benchmen Jamario Moon (14 points) and Ryan Hollins (10 points).

So we're 6-9, 1.5 games behind Chicago in the Central. I'm stunned the Bulls are only 8-8, but it appears we're in this fight for the division, even though we're in 4th place.

Miami Heat 12-3
Utah Jazz 12-4

are the league's top two teams.

LeBron is leading the league in scoring at 28.7 points a game. Joe Johnson is 5th at 27.8.

Heh. Inversions, indeed.

[Eurostar]

Try to grab Dudley from PHX and Brendan Haywood from DAL. You can thank me later

I had Haywood on my PHX team and alongside Amare he got 15pg 10rpg and 3bpg with 58% shooting

[Tim Moungey]

Try to grab Dudley from PHX and Brendan Haywood from DAL. You can thank me later

I had Haywood on my PHX team and alongside Amare he got 15pg 10rpg and 3bpg with 58% shooting

I'll keep that in mind.

[wowgoldwen]

Hello,everybody.I'm new .If you want to make friends to me ,just contact me.


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