The New King: Tradeasaurus Rex and the Cavaliers

[Tim Moungey]

"Beware the Tradeasaurus Rex! Such creatures bow at the altar of their deity, Izulde Jestor, and follow his teachings to their most extreme." - Braxton Barely, Cutting Nets: A Guide To Championship Basketball

Unfortunately for the Cleveland Cavaliers, their erstwhile owner, enraged and heartbroken over the loss of Lebron James, got incredibly drunk one night on a strange concoction called Ghetto Sangria, and, stumbling over a Tradeasaurus Rex looking at a sleeved Mateen Yeaton for the DDS:PB Collectible Card Game, hired said fanatical dinosaur as GM of the Cavs.

Tradeasaurus Rex Profile Synopsis
-Makes at least one trade every month
-Holds Jestorball, with its emphasis on ball security and turnover generation, and its mandate for high percentage big men, as sacrosanct.
-Believes second round picks are trade fodder and will never draft in the second round
-The Tradeasaurus Rex Exception: Will never, ever, ever trade Chris Paul or anyone of the Yeaton family if he somehow comes in the TR team's possession
-Tradeasaurus Rex will never allow a player from University of Nevada, University of Minnesota, Oregon State, or Yale on their team. Conversely, the Tradeasaurus Rex will view players from the University of Arkansas and UNLV favorably.

Cleveland Cavaliers
The first problem the Tradeasaurus Rex notices is the presence of Wolfpack alum Ramon Sessions on the team. This angers the dinosaur so much, he makes the following trade.

Cleveland Cavaliers receive
PG Marcus Banks
SG Jarrett Jack
Toronto Raptors 2011 2nd round pick

Toronto Raptors receive
PG Ramon Sessions
SF Christian Eyegenga

What this means for the Cavaliers
Banks is a $4.72 million expiring contract, and Jack is a quality 26 year old all-around combo guard who will step in as the Cavaliers' starting SG immediately. The second round pick is just a nice bonus.

What this means for the Raptors
Interestingly enough, Sessions becomes the starting SG. Best attribute is his discipline - otherwise he's merely a two years younger, poor man's version of Jack. Eyegenga is terrible, but the Raptors front office seems to really like him.

Winner: Cleveland
An outright robbery for the Cavaliers in new GM Tradeasaurus Rex's first deal. Hard to tell just what Toronto was thinking here.

Izulde Jestor Related Note
In the NLL, the MP league cult figure Izulde Jestor GM's the Miami Heat in, Jarrett Jack came over in a small mid-2013 season deal with the New Jersey Nets, and the 30 year old became a key part of the Heat's run to their first playoff berth since 2009, backing up Willie "Wonder" Warren at SG and occasionally spelling Chris Paul. Marcus Banks was part of a deal with the Los Angeles Clippers in mid-2012, Jestor's first full season in Miami. He became an extremely capable backup to Paul, surprising everyone, and was rewarded with a three year contract extension from the Heat in the offseason.

The Heat earned the 6th seed in the playoffs, and are facing the 3 seed Philadelphia 76ers in the opening round.

***End Izulde Jestor related note***

[Jabez54]

Your first disciple .... mwwwhhaahaaaahaaa ...

[blazertaz13]

While I am slightly affended by the anti Oregon State trade exception (not that OSU has had any quality basketball players lately), I will also be following.

Now time for Tradeasaurus to get back to his school work. Those papers won't write themselves.

[Tim Moungey]

I'm still ticked at Oregon State for taking literally two months to process transcripts that ended up costing me getting admitted there for my MA degree.

...Ironically enough, the 40+ page thing I referred to is an 8 question MA exam, minimum 5 pages each... over a 200-300 literary works reading list.

[Tim Moungey]

Initial Starting Lineup
PG Mo Williams
SG Jarrett Jack
SF Anthony Parker
PF Antawn Jamison
C Anderson Varejao

Note: October 20th has been declared Ramon Sessions Day in honor of the Tradeasaurus Rex's first deal. As a result, look for a trade to happen every October to commemorate the event. Or at least a deal tried - the Tradeasaurus Rex isn't stupid.

Cleveland's new era starts with a 111-99 loss to the Celtics. All five starters score 12+ points, led by Jarrett Jack's 19 points and Mo Williams's 17 points and 12 assists, but 25 turnovers makes the Tradeasaurus Rex mad, because it violates the fundamental core of Jestorball.

First win for the Cavs of the new regime - 96-75 over the Bobcats. Mo Williams just misses a triple-double with 25 points, 14 assists, and 8 rebounds, Anthony Parker scores 20 and Antawn Jamison bangs in for 18 points and 15 rebounds.

Huge upset, a 127-121 OT win over Chris Paul's Hornets. Mo Williams scores 34, Anthony Parker 23, Jarrett Jack 20 and Antawn Jamison hangs in for 19 points and 10 rebounds. New Orleans is now a shocking 0-3 on the year.

127-102 loss to the unbeaten Mavericks despite Mo Williams' 26 points.

Tradeasaurus Rex looks over his team and realizes two of his best players are very old, as in not likely to be here when the Cavs are winning old, and so, since it's November and he hasn't executed his monthly trade, he goes calling and shopping.

And oddly enough, he calls the Great White North again.

Cleveland Cavaliers receive
PG Jose Calderon
PG Leandro Barbosa

Toronto Raptors receive
PF Antawn Jamison
PG Daniel Gibson

What this means for the Cavaliers
Calderon fits much more in the Jestorball philosophy that the Tradesaurus Rex so fervently espouses. Barbosa was just a throw-in to make the salaries work. But there's now four point guards on Cleveland's roster, which probably means Mo Williams is getting shipped out.

What this means for the Raptors
Jamison gives Toronto toughness and rebounding they lacked inside. Gibson is a young three point specialist who could play a role. Odd deal for Toronto, as they're sitting 0-3 and even with Jamison's addition, now field a backcourt of Ramon Sessions and Sonny Weems, hardly the recipe for success.

Winner: Cleveland
Tradeasaurus Rex knows how to take it to Toronto, robbing the Raptors for the second time in as many deals. Sure there's a big hole in the post now, but that's what trading Mo is fo.

And indeed, our heroic dinosaur executive did pull another swap.

Cleveland Cavaliers receive
PF Nene Hilario
Denver Nuggets 2011 1st

Denver Nuggets receive
PG Mo Williams
PF J.J. Hickson
Cleveland Cavaliers 2013 2nd

What this means for the Cavs
Nene fills the giant void left by Antawn Jamison's being sent off to Toronto, and at 27 and with better handling, he's a legitimate longer-term solution. Denver's pick will be a mid to late first as long as Carmelo Anthony's there, but it's another piece as Cleveland rebuilds.

What this means for the Nuggets
Chauncey Billups isn't getting any younger at 33 and Ty Lawson isn't yet ready to be a starter. Adding Mo allows Denver to bring Billups off the bench or as a starter, depending on matchups and his health, and the Nuggets are now much, much deeper at guard. Hickson's a young reserve PF who doesn't appear to have much upside.

Winner: Draw
Both teams address serious concerns and the move should be enough to secure the Nuggets a playoff spot in the tough West.

New Cavs Lineup
PG Jose Calderon
SG Jarrett Jack
SF Anthony Parker
PF Anderson Varajeo
C Nene Hilario

Nene beasts for 24 points and 10 rebounds in his Cleveland debut, and the Cavaliers shut down the Bulls 107-79.

Next, Jarrett Jack pumps in 29 points, Jose Calderon scores 22 with 9 assists to just one turnover, and Nene gets 12 points, 13 rebounds, and 3 blocks in a 114-104 victory over Indiana. Leandro Barbos contributes 11 off the bench.

The night after, the Bulls get revenge, whipping Cleveland 111-87. Nene's 11 points and 12 rebounds were the only highlight as the Cavs shot an ugly 37.2%.

All five starters score 12+ points, Nene goes off for 32 points and 9 rebounds, and Leandro Barbosa lights it up from the bench with 24 points in a 121-102 thrashing of the Bucks.

Denver comes to Cleveland and rips apart the Cavs 116-88. 12 points, 10 rebounds for Anderson Varajeo and 17 bench points for Leandro Barbosa, but Chauncey Billups was unstoppable with 30 points, and Jarrett Jack shot 2 for 16.

106-80 loss to the Jazz and the Cavs are starting to flounder a bit. 23 points for Nene, but Cleveland drops to .500 on the year.

The Nets win 113-103 despite Nene's 22 points and 13 rebounds and Anderson Varajeo's 15 points and 12 rebounds. Leandro Barbosa with 10 bench points.

Ugly 81-69 loss to the Pistons the night after, Nene's 23 points and 21 points getting absolutely no help at all.

Frustrating 108-101 defeat at the hands of the Hawks. 22 points for Jose Calderon and a surprise 10 bench points for Jamario Moon, but that's all she wrote for highlights.

106-79 loss in NYC despite Nene's 23 points and 13 rebounds and Leandro Barbosa's 13 bench points. The Tradeasaurus Rex is thrilled with Nene, but the bountiful Brazilian needs help.

104-98 and it's another loss, this time to Kevin Durant's Thunder. 12 points, 12 rebounds for Nene, 15 and 13 bench points for Leandro Barbosa and Jamario Moon.

5-10, tied with the Bucks for last place in the Central, 4.5 games out.

Fuller month review/commentary later, as this chronicler needs to head out.

[Tim Moungey]

Tradeasaurus Rex frowned as he looked at his chicken and waffles plate. He'd wanted a nice, tasty brontosaurus, but the waiter said they hadn't one of those around for several million years.

What do about his bad team? That's when he realized he was an idiot.

It was October 20th again.

None of the games had happened. TR got so disgusted with himself he called and resigned.

[zike_42]

What is this I don't even...

[Tim Moungey]

I started this dynasty as a parody of my trade-aholic tendecies in games. For some reason, I imagined a T-rex who survived the destruction of the dinosaurs and became an acolyte of mine and trading, but because of his small brain, got obsessed about it and took it to extremes.

I played out the first month, then realized when I went to load up the game today that I must have forgotten to save. I didn't feel like redoing everything so I decided to can it.

[MizzouRah]

No auto save in the game? Darn it, this was going to be great to follow.!

[zike_42]

I started this dynasty as a parody of my trade-aholic tendecies in games. For some reason, I imagined a T-rex who survived the destruction of the dinosaurs and became an acolyte of mine and trading, but because of his small brain, got obsessed about it and took it to extremes.

I played out the first month, then realized when I went to load up the game today that I must have forgotten to save. I didn't feel like redoing everything so I decided to can it.

Ah I thought it was a nickname for someone, not an ACTUAL T-Rex. Are you going to start a new one?