Tom “Whatever It Takes” Bradbury

[PointGuard]

During my interview for the head coaching job at Memphis, Steve Forester, the AD, said he was tired and the alumni were tired of Memphis playing 3rd fiddle to Kentucky and Louisville. The more we talked, the more I realized that this was my opportunity to make a huge jump from a very low mid-major in the coaching ranks to an up-and-comer. Steve said he wanted a coach who would “do whatever it takes” to make Memphis a powerhouse team. Not only does he want the Tigers to best Kentucky and Louisville, he wants a national championship, and better yet, multiple national championships. And he wants it as quickly as possible.

It’s obvious he’s familiar with my background (very high ambition, very low academics, low discipline, low temper, and very low integrity)....so he realizes I’m not adverse to “doing whatever it takes” to get the job done. In other words, he’s found his man.

So a marriage officiated by the devil was cemented and I became the new head coach of Memphis.

Steve’s goals for me and the team this season: (1) sign a 4-star recruit; (2) win 20+ games; (3) win the American Athletic Conference tournament; (4) reach the Sweet Sixteen; and (5) improve school prestige. Obviously a tall order since the Tigers hadn’t gotten close to reaching any of those last season.

My first task was to hire Ray Schau, a top-notch recruiter, Mike Hampton, who is very adept at developing players, and Kelvin Chadwick, a talented scout, as my assistants. Not only are they good at what they do, but I know each one and like me, each will “do whatever it takes” to get things done.

[PointGuard]

Ray and I went all out on recruiting. With just 2 scholarships to offer, we needed to sign 2 impact players. We both realized that it would be tough to compete for Top 10 players against the likes of Duke, Arizona, Syracuse, North Carolina, UCLA, and Michigan State.

So not only did we work our asses off and used every tool we had to our maximum advantage. We did “whatever it takes”...and that meant offering a bribe. Well, not a bribe...we offered bribeS with a capital S...lots of them. In total we made eleven “offers” to guys rated from #1 to #25 in the nation. 6 bribes of $10,000 each, 3 of $5,000 each, and 2 of $2,000 each. We made sure to offer to those players whose families weren’t well off. In fact, some of them were dirt poor. 5 liked the $10,000, 2 liked the $5,000, and 1 liked the $2,000. One player turned us down on the $10,000 offer (Mr. Goody Two Shoes), one was upset by how low our $2,000 offer was (Mr. I Want More), and one wasn’t too sure what to make of our $5,000 offer (Mr. Duhhhhh).

End result:

1. We signed the #10 player in the nation, a fantastic rebounder, defender and scorer. We didn’t offer a bribe to this guy since his family was pretty sound financially. We got him the old-fashioned way, phone calls (lots of ‘em), watching film, school visit by the player, scouting games, and finally multiple visits to his home). While this guy was too good to pass up, it was a lot of work. In the future, maybe a bribe will short-cut things on guys like this.

2. We lost the #1 player in the nation (to whom we had offered a $10,000 bribe in which he was very interested) to Duke. Did Duke offer a bribe also? Probably not, since they likely didn’t have to. Note to self for the future...offer more to the #1 (and maybe the #2). Stick it to Duke.

3. We signed the #8 player in the nation, a PG who not only distributes the ball like a magician, but is an outstanding scorer, a very strong rebounder, a talented defender who can block like a 12-foot wall, and steal like a thief. We offered him a $10,000 bribe and he went for it like a trout chasing morning Mayflies. He made sure to let us know that if he were to accept our offer, he damned well expected us to “show him the money”.

I can’t wait to get these guys on our team.

[NOTE: This dynasty has been created to test how cheating (in the form of bribes to recruits) works when employed by the human player in CB3. We know that AI teams occasionally get placed on probation in CB3 due to recruiting violation. But: (1) Does the offering of bribes significantly improve the signing of highly rated recruits by the human coach? and (2) Does CB3 levy penalties on the human coach for offering bribes? Since an occasional bribe offer might go under the radar (whether it be by the AI coached team or the human coached team), Coach Tom “Whatever It Takes” Bradbury will bribe egregiously. His aim in the future will be to get the highest rated recruits in each and every recruiting class. Since he’s not at an elite school, that means that bribes will flow like the water in the Nile.]

[PointGuard]

1. Duke
2. Michigan State
3. UCLA
4. Arizona
5. Syracuse
6. Stanford
7. Connecticut
8. Memphis
9. Wake Forest
10. Memphis

Not bad for a team on the Mississippi River from the American Athletic Conference and from a town mostly known for Elvis Presley.

And yes, Connecticut is also from our conference. But when we’re through bulldozing our way to the top, UConn won’t be getting Top 10 recruits anymore.

[Wayne23]

You dirty, cheatin', lower than a snake's belly varmint!

[PointGuard]

Did I hear my name called?

[Emark]

A scoundrels "scoundrel"...

[PointGuard]

bwahaha

[PointGuard]

I made a couple changes to toughen things up for us and get more ranked opponents, thereby improving our chances of having a good RPI.

[PointGuard]

PG Howie Tyler, 6-4 Fr
SG Dalaron Jones, 6-5 Jr (he’s been nominated for the Norton Award)
SF Eric Dersch, 6-7 Sr
PF Mark Byams, 6-8 Sr
C Rob Ferguson, 6-8 Jr.

[PointGuard]

[NOTE: Since this is a dynasty devoted to bribery during recruiting, our games will be simmed and the AI will run the practices and decide upon the depth chart and sub matrix.

Game #1 @ #7 Louisville: Louisville takes a 46-42 halftime lead, but we shoot the lights out in the 2nd half and come away with a 93-86 victory. Dalron Jones scores 28 points, Mark Byams scored 12 and pulls down 8 boards, Rob Ferguson scores 10 and grabs 7 rebounds, and Jeff Hill comes off the bench to score 14. Great win over a team we want to dominate. But...bad news as well, as Rob Ferguson breaks his hand. That’s going to make for a short bench for our interior men. (1-0)

Game #2 @ #20 Oregon: Due to Ferguson’s injury, we move Byams to C, Dersch to PF and put 6-5 So Johnnie Campbell at SF. The first half is nip and tuck with the Ducks coming away with a 38-37 lead at the break. But they eviscerate us early in the 2nd half, taking a 23 point lead. We made a big comeback but there isn’t enough time and we lose 87-76. Dalron Jones scores 27, Mark Byams has 11 points and 7 rebounds, Eric Dersch adds 10 points, and Antonio Greer substitutes at PF and scores 11. (1-1)

Game #3, #22 Michigan: Antonio Greer earned himself a start at PG after his last game. Michigan takes a small lead early in the game but by the end of the half, we are on top 41-32. It’s all us in the 2nd half and we smash the Wolverines 84-57. Dalron Jones hits for 16 points, Johnnie Campbell nets 15 points, and Eric Dersch and Antonio Greer both add 10 points. (2-1)

Game #4 @ #20 Georgia Tech: We fall behind 39-28 at the half. Our guards carry us in the 2nd half, we clamp down defensively, and regulation ends with the score tied 71-71. We catch fire and open a 10 point lead in the OT and win 89-80. Dalron Jones scores 32 and Antonio Greer tosses in 22 while Mark Byams scores 7 but grabs 10 boards. (3-1, Ranked 24th)