The Day the Humans Lost - A Multiplayer Dynasty

Postby zike_42 » Fri Mar 20, 2015 1:59 am

2016-2017


Shooting guard Nick Anderson is the first pick in the draft, going from LSU to Dallas while PF Phil Dean goes #2 to Denver and Atlanta takes PG Drew Moncrief with the third pick. What was surprising about the draft wasn’t who was drafted, but who was traded. Kyle Lowry was shipped to Minnesota for Anthony Bennett while Milwaukee takes a chance with Rajon Rondo with Aaron Gordon being traded again to Memphis. The biggest trade of the draft was also the smallest, with number one pick from last draft Rodney Norwood was actually traded for an actual human being. For some reason Golden State thought that trading Norwood for Shaun Livingston would be a good idea, even if Livingston has a longer contract. Anything is better at $8 million than absolutely nothing at $5 million.

With both teams going 29/154 you would expect the scores to be pretty low. And in the SA/PHI game it was horrendous as the Sixers stole a 44-39 full time win with only 12 assists credited in the whole game. Compare that to the 35 turnovers in the game, you know it’s going to be ugly. Just a precursor to what will happen when the humans retire. Greg Arenas was the best player in the game, going only 4/10 for 10 points and 7 rebounds and the only player in double figures.

I didn’t think that the turning point would come this quickly but without anyone else to sign and a salary cap floor to catch the Milwaukee Bucks signed Entap Greg Arenas to a one year, $5.5 million contract. That’s right, Arenas is making over a million dollars more than All NBA Second Teamer Nerlens Noel and his rookie contract. Really makes you think about humanity is up a creek with no paddle. Onto free agency proper, Roy HIbbert goes to San Antonio, Philadelphia signs Monta Ellis as they seem to have unlimited pockets. The biggest deal was Bradley Beal spurning the Wizards to go to Charlotte as nearly all of the major players go back to their respective teams. It’s important as it was a big free agency with Lebron James, Anthony Davis, Kevin Durant and Kevin Love being just a few going back. I guess after last free agency teams settled down and got their players.

Most teams have about two to four Entap players on their squad through the draft so the Leps are starting to really make a dent but they’re not at crisis point yet. San Antonio on the other hand have gone all in, with eight Entap on the squad compared to only seven humans which is really an emergency. They do have the likes of Klay Thompson, Jimmy Butler and Roy Hibbert but it’s going to be a struggle from now for the Spurs.

The rookie/sophomore game was a showcase of how bad those Leps are, with both teams shooting sub-20% from the field and 0/29 from three. Seriously, if you’re going to shoot badly, don’t shoot from further away. Dario Saric was great for the sophs with 7 points, 18 rebounds and 5 steals as the second year guys won 47-42. He got 18 rebounds not because he’s good, it’s because there were 171 rebounds in the game so as a PF, he was bound to get a few. There were only 13 assists on the game and two players in double figures with Eddie Smith’s 4/15 shooting nabbing him 13 points. Dear god this was brutal basketball.

Philadelphia supporters, rejoice! The Sixers made it to the NBA Finals after a stellar performance from their starting five, especially with the addition of Monta Ellis in the off season. Unfortunately, no-one could stop the rampaging Thunder as they again notched up a 70 win season to take their second title in a row. It was again Kevin Durant who did the damage, averaging 30 points and 7 rebounds on the season. The Spurs on the other hand were a delight, winning 19 games on the season even with their eight Entap players. Sure they relied very heavily on their starters but at least they were watchable. The eight Leps played 5216 combined minutes for 461 points (15.9% FG, 2.1% 3P) and an assist to turnover ratio of 188/378. Yikes. Miami and Atlanta were the worst teams in the league at 12-70 apiece.

Anthony Davis was the best player on the season by far, averaging 26 points, 13 rebounds and 2.5 steals and blocks a game but his Pelicans only finished at 39-43 which might cause some friction in his camp. The worst player in the league was Marcus Denmon, a second year point guard for the Spurs who averaged 0.7 points, 0.6 assists and 1.8 rebounds a game. The reason he was so bad? He averaged 15.5 minutes a game and shot 6.3% from the field. He went 23/363 and hit only three of his 216 three point attempts at just over 1%. He had more turnovers than points or assists for an efficiency rating of -1.7. Troubling, there were twenty players with efficiency ratings of negative numbers, meaning that the Entap are getting more and more opportunities to suck.

NBA Champions – Oklahoma City defeated Philadelphia 4-3

Most Valuable Player – Stephen Curry, Golden State Warriors – 27.3 points, 6.6 assists, 5.0 rebounds, 1.4 steals, 0.0 blocks

Defensive Player of the Year – Nerlens Noel, Philadelphia 76ers – 16.9 points, 1.8 assists, 8.9 rebounds, 2.1 steals, 1.7 blocks

Sixth Man of the Year – Reggie Jackson, Dallas Mavericks – 13.5 points, 3.6 assists, 4.3 rebounds, 0.7 steals, 0.0 blocks

Rookie of the Year – Kenyan Johnson, Atlanta Hawks – 2.8 points, 0.7 assists, 2.4 rebounds, 0.3 steals, 0.0 blocks

Coach of the Year – Doc Rivers, Los Angeles Clippers – 62-20 (.756)

All NBA First Team
Stephen Curry, Golden State Warriors
James Harden, Houston Rockets
Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder
Anthony Davis, New Orleans Pelicans
Andre Drummond, Detroit Pistons

League High Points – Kevin Durant (OKC) – 30.1
League High Assists – Chris Paul (LAC) – 10.4
League High Rebounds – Andre Drummond (DET) – 13.6
League High Blocks – Anthony Davis (NOH) – 2.5
League High Steals – Victor Oladipo (ORL) – 2.7
League High Turnovers – DeMar DeRozan (TOR) – 3.7
League High Efficiency – Anthony Davis (NOH) – 33.7
League High PER – Anthony Davis (NOH) – 31.5
League Low Efficiency – Marcus Denmon (SAS) – -1.7
League Low PER – Drew Moncrief (ATL) – -9.8

Number of Entap (Percentage) – 84 (19.7%)
Notable Retirees – Shawn Marion, Vince Carter, Paul Pierce
Hall of Fame Inductees – None
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Postby zike_42 » Thu Mar 26, 2015 3:23 am

2017-2018


The Spurs got the number one pick this time and they took another SF, Lincoln Morrill out of Clemson. Morill did actually go to Clemson as Entap are the only college students these days. Miami took SG Whitney Sears and Memphis selected SF Marcus Donald with the third pick. What was funny is that Aaron Gordon was traded again, this time to Brooklyn for Brook Lopez. This means that Gordon has played for Orlando, Milwaukee, Memphis and now Brooklyn in all of four years. He’s not a cancer and he’s good enough to be a rotation player but he just keeps getting traded for some reason. Gordon is one of the best defenders in the league but I guess that’s not good enough. There were no other decent trades as it seems that teams are holding onto any decent talent that they have so they don’t have to enlist Leps.

Size is becoming more and more important. I know it was important before in the NBA, but when nearly one in five player in the NBA last season was 5’3” teams are becoming desperate for height. Which is why Houston signed Kelly Olynyk, a fairly average player, to a $53 million contract. All the while Gorgui Dieng gets a $58 million contract from Dallas. If you’re over seven foot, then you will be a multimillionaire.

In other free agency moves, Derrick Rose signs with Denver because Ty Lawson went to Sacramento. The other major players, Jonas Valanciunas, Stephen Curry, Victor Oladipo, Nerlens Neol and Russell Westbrook go back to their respective teams. All except one, Dwight Howard. He breaks the league by teaming up with Anthony Davis in New Orleans to make one of the all-time great front court tandems and I wouldn’t be surprised to see them take it all out.

It seems that teams still only have a handful of Entap on their rosters, avoiding them like the plague. However, this is putting more pressure on the human players with only one team (Sacramento) that has a full 15 man/Entap squad. The rest of the teams are running 12/13 deep which will force the humans to play more and more minutes. San Antonio on the other hand must be run by an Entap as they now have five humans and seven Entap which means that the Spurs’ entire bench is five foot three and useless. They have a solid core with Roy Hibbert, Klay Thompson and Jimmy Butler but this team might not win double figure games.

To the season, the Boston Celtics are back! With a roster that goes eight, nine deep and six players in double figures the C’s won a massive 70 games. The Thunder outdid them in the regular season (again) with 72 wins but Boston had the finally laugh, winning the NBA Finals in five games over OKC. Unfortunately for the Spurs, their pre-season rank was spot on as they won a league history worst five games at a winning percentage of 6.1%. They topped 100 points only four times and in their March 30th battle against GSW they scored a history low 47 points while giving up 102. The team shot 24% from the field and had more turnovers than assists. Their bench went 5/37 as this team is staring down the barrel.

Oh yeah, the Pelicans with their dominant combo of Davis and Howard? 32-50 on the season as Anthony Davis plays all of eight games before tearing his ACL. Dwight tried his best with 22 points and 12 rebounds but without Davis this team is half as good.

Without Anthony Davis filling up the stat sheet, Stephen Curry was the best in the league and should win MVP but surprisingly there still wasn’t a player who logged 40 minutes a game, with Curry leading at 39.7 minutes. Garrett Horton was the worst player this season, averaging one and a half points, rebounds and assists in 13 minutes a game. He had 60 more turnovers than minutes and shot 12% from the field but at least he hit a three pointer! Out of 122 attempts…

There were 30 players with an efficiency rating of negative numbers.

NBA Champions – Boston Celtics defeated Oklahoma City Thunder 4-1

Most Valuable Player – Stephen Curry, Golden State Warriors – 28.5 points, 6.2 assists, 5.1 rebounds, 1.4 steals, 0.0 blocks

Defensive Player of the Year – DeMarcus Cousins, Sacramento Kings – 17.7 points, 2.0 assists, 10.5 rebounds, 2.0 steals, 0.8 blocks

Sixth Man of the Year – Isaiah Thomas, Phoenix Suns – 16.3 points, 3.5 assists, 2.9 rebounds, 0.6 steals, 0.1 blocks

Rookie of the Year – Johnnie Lloyd, Washington Wizards – 6.0 points, 0.8 assists, 3.8 rebounds, 0.3 steals, 0.0 blocks

Coach of the Year – Frank Vogel, Indiana Pacers – 60-22 (.732)

All NBA First Team
Stephen Curry, Golden State Warriors
James Harden, Houston Rockets
Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder
Blake Griffin, Los Angeles Clippers
Dwight Howard, New Orleans Pelicans

League Top Points – Kevin Durant (OKC) – 29.9
League Top Assists – Chris Paul (LAC) – 10.0
League Top Rebounds – Andre Drummond (DET) – 13.6
League Top Blocks – Serge Ibaka (OKC) – 2.0
League Top Steals – Ricky Rubio (LAL) – 2.3
League Top Turnovers – Monta Ellis (PHI) – 3.3
League Top Efficiency – Stephen Curry (GSW) – 28.1
League Low Efficiency – Garrett Horton (DAL) – -2.2
League Top PER – Chris Paul (LAC) – 27.0
League Low PER – Landon Barnes (DEN) – -16.9

Number of Entap (Percentage) – 93 (22%)
Notable Retirees – Kobe Bryant, Dirk Nowitzki, Jamal Crawford
Hall of Fame Inductees – Kobe Bryant, Dirk Nowitzki
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