Fight Fiercely Harvard

[Wayne23]

11/20: 4-0, #3.

We win the NIT defeating Pitt by 13, Weber ST by 15, Houston by 14, and in the title game, #2 ranked Stanford by 14.

All 5 recruits sign.

11/27: 6-0. #1, RPI #1.

A last second shot by Mike Gort beat #7 GA Tech by 2.

11/29: 84-73 over #4 Louisville. This team appears to be the genuine article!

12/6: We defeated #13 Duke there, 65-63. We are winning the close games, to date.

12/13: The win streak ends at 10 at #7 UMass. We simply could not stop their SG (39).

12/20: Back on the winning track 71-47 over #5 Cincinnati.

12/25: 11-1, #3, RPI 1 to end pre-conf. play.

1/8/’30: 15-1, 4-0, #1, RPI #1. 93-84 over #8 Maryland. 18 and 18 for John Pett.

1/22: 19-1, 8-0, #1, RPI #1. Defeated #6 Indiana by 18.

1/29: 21-1, 10-0, #1, RPI #1. 2 game lead in the Big 10.

We are #1 in the nation in RBs, #2 in blocks, #9 in TOs, #12 in PPG, #15 in assists.

Mike Gort is #7 on the Norton list, Jon Pett #19, Dan Head #21.

[Wayne23]

2/12: 25-1, 14-0, #1, RPI #1. 3 up with 4 to play. Two are difficult road games.

#2 ranked Memphis is the only undefeated team in the nation at 24-0.

Mike Gort is #11 on Norton.

2/26: 28-2, 17-1, #1, RPI #1. We win the Big 10 by 4 games.

+14.5 PPG, +8.3 RBs, +4.1 TOs, +3.8 assists, +2.1 blocks, + 1.7 steals.

3/5: No on goes to the NBA.

3/8: #8 seed Purdue, 14-14, 8-10, in the quarter final round.

80-57. It was not that close. Mike Gort and Dan Head led the way.

Next is #4 seed, #16 ranked Michigan ST, 22-8, 12-6. We won by 9 there.

3/9: 85-63. And again it was not that close. +23 RBs. Gort and Pett led the way.

#2 seed, #10 ranked Indiana, 25-6, 13-5, for the title. We won by 9 there, then by 18 here.

3/10: 60-43. 0-8 start. 23-23 at the half. Close for the first 33-34 minutes. +10 RBs, +5 TOs. Head had 19, 7, 4.

3/12: #1 overall.

3/16: 72-33 over Southeast Louisiana. 21-3 early on. 48-20 at the half. 18, 11 for Gort, 18, 9 for Pett.

#8 seed Pitt, 21-8, is next. We beat them by 13 in the season opener.

3/18: 75-71. We made a 3 at the buzzer so it was VERY close. Survive and advance. We led by as many as 19 early and the lead dwindled for the rest of the game.

It is #5 seed, #21 ranked Kansas, 23-9, in the Sweet Sixteen.

3/23: 82-65. 42-40 at the half after a slow start. We pulled away late but did not play well for most of the game. 18, 13 for Gort.

#2 seed, #2 ranked, #7 RPI Stanford, 33-3 in the Elite Eight. We beat Stanford by 4 in the preseason NIT title game. This looks like a very difficult match up.

3/25: 94-74. 46-37 at the half.

We are in our first Final Four. We will face #1 seed, #4 ranked, #4 RPI Memphis, 33-1.

#6 seed, #23 ranked GA Tech, 25-9, plays #3 seed, #13 ranked Maryland, 26-7.

4/1: 84-92. After viewing the video we honestly thought we were the better team. Unfortunately, we did not play that way. We simply had no answer for their SF Greg Seabrooks- 31, 7, 5, with 8 steals.

Marq Aury, John Faye, and Lin Tome graduate.

4/4: Memphis defeated #23 GA Tech, 92-61 for the title. Once again, we lost to the national champion.

Awards: Seabrooks was national POY. Gort was Big 10 POY and 1st team. Jon Pett was Freshman OY and 1st team. Frosh SF Dan Head made the 2nd team. Once again I was both national and Big 10 COY. It feels hollow.

4/23: We ask for a budget increase. No.

I shall return for one final season. I hope it does not cost me my marriage.

389-93, .807 for 15 seasons.

[Wayne23]

5/1: We purchase the usual reports.

Preseason #7.

6/5: One very good transfer.

6/12: We do not land the transfer.

6/26: 4 scholarships. Looking at 16 players.

8/7: 6 on the Norton List: #11 C/PF Jon Pett, #16 C/PF Mike Gort, #19 PG/SG John Akins, #37 SF Dan Head, #38 PF/C Arqi Dracz, #40 PG/SG Dal Benn.

8/21: We offer to 2 PGs, a PF, a C.

9/18: #3 Ty Mack, PG, #6 Mick Gant, PF, and #9 Jon Blair, PG committed (Author's Note: Recruiting is set to Hard).

No early season tournament. A very challenging schedule.

9/25: We receive a commitment from Dave Dell, C, #2. He is the only recruit in danger of not reaching our SAT score so we shall continue to woo inside players for the time being.

10/2: First day of practice. The goal is the national championship.

11/6: Our lineup: Senior Erik Payne, junior juco Dal Benn, and red shirt soph John Lewis will share guard minutes equally to start. Promising frosh John Akins is in the wings.

Soph Dan Head will start again at SF.

Returning starters Mike Gort, a junior, and Jon Pett, a soph are inside. Junior Arqi Dracz, a transfer from Gonzaga will back up all three positions.

Brad Vaez looked very good inside in practice and in exhibition games. We will fit him in when we can.

Dal Kite, who got minutes last season, was less impressive.

[PointGuard]

#2, #3, #6, and #9-------not bad! Look out other schools at NCAA Tourney time!

[Wayne23]

And this was with recruiting set to Hard. Hard is too easy and Brutal is ridiculous. What is one to do- Ah! House rules! They will be back in effect as soon as 1.4 drops.

[Wayne23]

11/20: We defeated #13 Duke and #8 Gonzaga, by 15 and then 21.

All 4 recruits signed.

12/1: 5-0. Defeated #10 Pitt by 18, there.

12/11: 7-0, #6, RPI #1. We have defeated 7 opponents, all ranked between #3 and #14.

12/25: 9-0, #7, RPI #1. We are ranked lower than we should be but lots of teams are doing well at this early stage of the season.

1/15/’31: 15-0, 6-0, #3, RPI #1, in 1st place in the Big 10, by 1 over Minnesota, 2 or more over the rest.

1st in RBs, 4th in blocks, 5th in PPG, 8th in assists, 11th in TOs.

1/29: 19-0, 10-0, #3, RPI #1. 3 game lead in the Big 10.

Mike Gort is #16 on the Norton list.

#1 in RBs, #3 in PPG and blocks, #8 in TOs, #9 in assists.

[Wayne23]

2/5: 21-0, 12-0 Finally #1, RPI #1.

2/19: 25-0, 16-0, #1, RPI #1. 3 up on Maryland, and 5 or more on the rest with 2 to play in the Big 10.

2/26: We end the regular season at 27-0, 18-0. #1, #1. 4 games ahead of 2nd in the Big 10. Margin of victory in conference games was in double digits save for three games.

3/8: #8 seed Michigan ST, 14-15, 8-10, in the Quarter Final round of the Big 10 tournament.

82-64. It was not that close.

#4 seed, #19 ranked Ohio ST, 22-6, 13-5 in the Semifinal round.

3/9: 80-54.

#2 seed, #4 ranked Maryland, 26-6, 14-4 for the title. We won by a mere 3 at home so this should be a challenging game.

3/10: 91-82. 59-42 at the half. They got as close as 3 in the 2nd half before we woke up. Erik Payne and Dan Head led the way.

We expect to be #1 overall again.30-0, 18-0, #1, #1.

3/12: #1 overall. We play #16 seed Bethune-Cookman, 18-14 first.

3/16: 72-47.

#8 seed Stanford, 22-9, is next. We beat them by 20 in November.

3/18: 66-56. It was close for 38 minutes. This was a genuine scare.

#4 seed, #23 ranked Utah, 25-7 in the Sweet Sixteen.

3/23: 67-54. 33-34 at the half; we shot .308. Head and Pett led us.

#2 seed, #4 ranked Maryland, 29-7, in the Elite Eight. We beat them by 3, and then by 9.

3/25: 86-71. 55-38 at the half, with 0 TOs.

Final Four, for the 2nd straight year.

#1 seed, #2 ranked, #2 RPI Kansas, 33-3, in the round of 4.

4/1: 79-59. 35-23 at the half. Jon Pett was gigantic with 24 and 16. +22 RBs. Head had 17 and 8, Payne 17, 7, 5.

#11 ranked Louisville, 29-8, for the title. We beat them by 21 in November.

The game needs to be played inside. We were able to do that last time.

This is the last game I will ever coach. I am unable to decide whether it would be a help or a hindrance to share that information with my players. I’ve decided not to share it until after the
game.

4/3: 83-78 in OT. 38-22 at the half. We blew a 23 point lead, and then came back. +11 RBs. 24, 9, 4 for Dan Head, 10, 10, 8, 3 for guard Dal benn, 12, 8 for Mike Gort, 8, 8 for Jon Pett.

Awards: Dan Head was tourney MOP. I was national and conf. COY again. Junior Mike Gort made Big 10 1st team and soph Jon Pett made 2nd.

After the game I announced to my staff, then to the team, then to the press, that I was retiring, effective upon the naming of my successor.

We finished 36-0, national champions.

Lifetime record: 425-93, .821 in 16 years as a head coach. A proud record.

I will devote the remainder of my life to helping the unfortunate, through Hunger Be Gone.

4/5: “This is Jay Byrd with ‘Late Night Sports’ at WILL 90.0 FM. As you know Coach Mervin Smythe has retired. We have four special guests with us tonight, via conference call, and we want to catch up with them and hear their reactions.

“First, here’s Andrew Hortonbloom. Andrew, any curling news?”

“I’m number one in both of my DDS: Curling leagues. Really getting it done!”

“Great. And the M. D. thing is still going well?”

“Not so much. I kind of bottomed out.”

“Your reaction to Coach Smythe?”

“I never thought Coach Smythe would be around the coaching world forever. I mean a guy like that, with millions of dollars and all that education. He was bound to butt out, move on to other things.”

“Thanks Andrew. Wayne Twothree. How are things with the Greater Boston Penny Whistle, Kazoo, Washtub Bass, Ukelele, Accordion Symphony Orchestra? Still playing second kazoo?”

“I am proud to say that I moved up to first kazoo. When new conductor Keith Rockphartte came in he and our first kazoo player just didn’t see eye to eye. Before long I got my chance. It’s great being #1!”

“And your reaction to Coach Smythe retiring?”

“I was really sad about it. I always had the secret hope that he’d come back to Harvard and lead us to a national title. Oh well.”

“Robert Coachsee. How’s the massage work going?”

“Sadly, I had to leave ‘Massage at Large.’ Working with all of those huge people just did a number on my hands?”

“Arthritis?”

“No, fatty palms. Anyway, now I’m with ‘Bony Marony- Massage Therapy for the Anorexic.’ MUCH easier on the hands. Oh, I absolutely nailed the triple double tap tap in this year’s senior Irish Step Dance world championships in Galway. You’re talking to ‘Mister Step’, the world’s champ in the Senior division.”

“Wow! Congratulations.”

“I had my shoes bronzed. Makes ‘em hard to dance in, but the pride. The PRIDE!”

“Your reaction to Coach Smythe’s announcement?”

“I was shocked! I thought he’d be in it for life. Never thought he’d quit.”

“We close with Rich Pointguard. Rich, what’s new?”

“Well, Jay, I haven’t been her for a while.”

“That’s true.”

“I am now the manager of It’s a Small World Professional Wrestling, ISWPW.”

“Tell us about that.”

“Well, I got really close to the Albanian Midget Porn stars. They were being taken advantage of, getting the short end of the stick, so to speak. I decided to approach them about getting out of the porn game and into midget wrestling.”

“How’s that going?”

“Awesome! Lucy Goosey is our women’s world champ. Her ‘butt slam’ move is her big signature move. Works every time, at least so far. But Maybelline Shorttwerk is working on a counter move where she twerks out of the butt slam. She doesn’t have all the bugs out yet.

“On the men’s side, Frank ‘Fader’ Pharthite is king of the hill. He gets his opponent in a reverse head scissors, drops ‘bombs’ right in the guy’s face, and the guy goes unconscious from the smell and the lack of oxygen. It’s a huge hit with the fans- well, until the scent drifts out over the crowd.”

“O-KAY! How’s the three legged racing going?”

“My partner, Pegleg Patrino, retired. The guy who made his special three legged racing peg legs went out of business. So at least for now the competition has a leg up on me.”

“What do you think of the news?”

“No surprise. Those rich guys never stay with anything for long. Fun while it lasted though. I’m into watching roller derby now.”

“Jay Byrd, signing off.”

(Thus ends this test association. My first real association or maybe two, will begin as soon as 1.4 drops.)

[JHopkins19]

Great diary Wayne. I read the whole thing. Hope you start up another one.

[Wayne23]

Thanks. I have three in mind. Just waiting for DDS:CB 2016 1.4 to drop.

[PointGuard]

"First 3-legged racing was taken from me, then Coach Smythe's coaching. What next? Midget wresting? Oh, the humanity! Ah! It's–it's–it's–it's ... o–ohhh! I–I can't talk! I–I'm sorry. Honest: I–I can hardly breathe. This is the worst thing I've ever witnessed."

/s/ Rich Pointguard, It’s a Small World Professional Wrestling (ISWPW) Impresario