Alone

[Wayne23]

DDS:CB20 Alone

April 15, 2222: Mack Reed here. I'm writing this journal because in about 24 years someone is expected to get here, and I want them to know what happened in case I'm not around to tell them.

A year ago (April 11, 2221) 24 of us landed here, on a planet we named "Terra 2." It is in that magnificent "Goldilocks zone," just the right distance from its sun. We were sent here to prepare the planet for settlement by 50,000 people from Earth.

We were only one of the missions. Similar ones were sent to 78 different planets that tests had shown they could support human life.

Earth was dying fast, was in fact all but dead. The slightly less than 4 million still able to stay alive knew their time was rapidly ending. Technology was such that they could send ships first to explore, seeking habitable planets, and later to send people like me to prepare the planets for occupation.

We came with all kinds of tools, machines, technologies... to do our job. And we had incredibly sophisticated 3D printers that could quickly print what we needed, drawing the materials and energy they needed from the planet itself.

So twelve couples, six of them straight, four lesbian, and two gay, came here and went to work. We were all young, between 23 and 31. I'm 28, or will be on May 1. We stayed on the ship, on the ground, and first built a shelter for all of us to stay in. It was fairly elaborate. We had been confined in a cramped ship for the 17 months of our journey and we wanted some room. Having said that, we couldn't build something with huge living spaces. Our living units, all twelve of them were 15 x 12, not small, but not large either. But we had two huge spaces which held holochambers. We spent most of our free time in those. They came equipped with every sort of scenario and situation imaginable and were great. We all loved them.

So things were moving along. We were out working on this very temperate planet every day. Oh, the planet has mild temperatures year round. Never stiflingly hot, never bitterly cold. Moderate winds, and when the rains come, which they do often enough to keep everything growing and healthy, they are gentle to moderate in nature.

This planet is a paradise as far as climate is concerned.

Our rule was that every day 23 people went out to work and one stayed behind to "mind the shelter," prepare the evening meal, and have a day of relaxation. We didn't work ourselves to death. The machines did most of the land clearance, shelter building, and other things needed, but there was plenty to do at the work site. We stayed out for ten hours each day.

One day off out of every 24 seems like it wouldn't be enough, but it was. We were a disciplined crew, thrived on work, and had no complaints about the schedule. This went on from the time our shelter was completed until two weeks ago Thursday, my day to stay at the shelter.

The work day was 8 am to 6 pm. At 7:00 they had not returned. At 8 and at 9 and at 10, not back. I couldn't really go out and check at that point. There were wild animals that roamed at night and I could easily become dinner for one of them.

The next morning, when they still hadn't returned, I went looking. I was armed and I was careful. When I got to the worksite I could tell from a distance that disaster had struck.

A building had collapsed. I rushed to get closer.

I spent the day exploring the wreckage and from what I saw it seemed extremely unlikely that anyone had survived.

In the following days, working very carefully, I used equipment to try to unearth anyone who might have been buried alive. I eventually found 17 bodies. I never found the other six, or at least enough of them to identify them as the missing people. My wife, Allison was one whose body I found.

After 10 days I realized further search was futile and I gave up.

That was three days ago.

So for the past three days I have been trying to figure out how I am going to spend the time until the settlement ship gets here in 2246. I will be alone for 24 years.

There is no way to communicate with the ship that is heading this way, and no way for me to leave the planet. Our ship cannot take off from the planet.

I'm going to work for 10 hours, but only six days a week. I will never come close to having the place ready for 50,000 people, but there's really nothing I can do about that. They'll need to take it from where it is when they get here. I will concentrate on living spaces only and leave all of the rest.

In my off time I will rest, prepare my meals, and spend time in the holo entertaining myself. I will climb hills and hike on rough trails or no trails. I will spend time on the ocean, I will do a little painting; I'm sure I will find other interests. The holo offers nearly endless possibilities. I will also coach a college basketball team. 7 of us did that before the tragedy and it was really a lot of fun. There will certainly be a sad aspect to it now that I am on my own, but it's something i enjoy enough to stay with. I will need to keep busy. This isolation will surely test me severely.

[Wayne23]

5/1/2222: I take over as head coach of MD-Baltimore County (UMBC), in the America East Conference.

You need to understand that when I enter the holo and start the program I AM the coach. I do everything a coach does. Of course the pace is not "real time." If, on a certain day, I don't have the time or the inclination to go in and coach, no problem. I can do it the next day. If I get caught up and want to do several days' work in a single day I can do that . Too. But otherwise I'm the coach and I do everything a coach does.

Recruiting class #193.

I've been alone for less than a month and I already feel really isolated. I need to work this out or I'll be in for trouble.

I will play Princeton and Triangle against man to man. On D I'll go man to man about 60%, 2-3 about 20%, 3-2 the other 20%. I won't press unless I need to.

6/26: 4 scholarships. I need 3 bigs. Recruiting probably won't be easy.

6/28: I've now been alone for three months. The challenge is to stay healthy, stay busy, stay productive, stay sane. There are moments when it isn't easy. The holos help. The "people" in there seem very real but underneath everything I realize they are not real, no matter how real they look, feel, react, seem. And there is no escaping the fact that I am utterly alone, even if I call up a program with many, many "people." Yes, I can interact with them in every conceivable way. Yes, I can have them as ongoing programs that remain, making long lasting relationships of all kinds possible. And I'm doing that. But still, it's not quite real.

7/28: Four months alone. I'm recruiting in the basketball game and that is going slowly. UMBC doesn't have a lot to offer so we may not do as well as I'd like. We'll see.

8/21: We offer to 2 PGs and 2 Cs. We'll see if we get any of them.

8/28: 5 months alone. I'm trying to minimize alcohol use, one drink, and not every day. Alcohol tends to increase depression and I sure don't need that.

The days are busy enough but some evenings and Sundays- the day I don't work, are long. When I get myself into a hike, or on a boat, or coaching, or even just reading it's mostly fine, but sometimes I can't get myself to do anything but sit in a chair. Not good when that happens.

9/18: No commitments yet but a couple guys seem like we have a real shot with them.

I set up as easy a pre-conf. schedule as possible. I want wins in order to convince recruits to give us a shot.

9/25: Got one, lost one. Got a PG, #345.

9/28: 6 months alone. I did a little memorial, short, at the site where the 23 died.
10/1: Okay, maybe this is silly, maybe not. Hard to say. I created a girlfriend in the holo. I tried to think about my ideal woman, physically, mentally, emotionally, interests- as much as I could think of. We'll see what happens. This is really more about companionship than anything else. I don't know if it will actually work or not; time will tell. I tried to recreate a couple of my closest friends but that didn't work at all. They just weren't the people I remembered and it was weird. Creating a person who didn't actually exist may work better. If it looks like it's working I'll create some friends of both sexes. One thing, I didn't want someone who would just "Yes" me to death so I made the girlfriend with a strong personality and an independent nature.

10/2: We get a C, #111. Good catch! Lose a guard.

1st day of practice. No idea how good we are but we're picked to finish 1st in the AEC.

10/9: We get a C, #254. One more to go. Lose another guard.

10/16: Lana, that's the GF I created, is working out better than I expected. She has a rich, well developed personality, and is interesting to be with. I think a big part of that is my not making her a replication of a real person. The fact that I can exit the program whenever I like probably helps, too. She's working out well enough for me to be creating a few friends. More on that later.

11/12: I've created Jed, Len, and Emma to be friends. They all like to hike and they like to be on my boat. We now have a foursome for those activities, but sometimes I just hang out with one or two of them, with or without Lana. And again, since they were not designed as anything like resemblances of actual people I knew, this is working, at least on some levels.

I don't need to be with people all the time. There are lots of times when I'm happy to be on my own. But when I do want people around I now have them. Also, Len and Emma took over as coaches in the AEC, Len at Albany, and Emma at Vermont. That will make things interesting!

[Wayne23]

11/15: 77-59 over Columbia here at home to start the season. We took an early lead and never let it go. 17, 7 for SF Mo Brin, 14, 4, 4 for SG Rhee Sink, 11,
13, 6 for PF Chez Sitt. +18 RBs. We looked good!

11/18: 73-83 at Grand Canyon. They led by as many as 25 in the 1st half and we couldn't catch up. Weak 1st half D did us in. Fouls didn't help. 22 for PG Dee John, 17 for Sink.

All 24 of us were "jacks of all trades." We all had our specialties, and I already miss some of those, but we also all had the ability to diagnose problems, to fix things, to come up with creative solutions...

There's plenty of water here on Terra 2, but I had a little issue with the delivery system yesterday. I put my regular work aside and spent the day figuring out what the problem was and then solving it. We're good to go again.

11/20: My 3 recruits sign. Still chasing an SG.

11/22: 57-69 at Longwood. Not enough O tonight. No one had more than 12. 21 TOs really hurt. I suppose this is a process.

11/25: 70-68 over Campbell. My first nail biter as a head coach. C Cole Joyn won it with an 8 footer late, then blocking a last second shot. He had 15 and 13. 11, 7 for Sitt. +11 RBs but 19 TOs.

On the road for 4 or 5 and 8 of 10.

Emma has Vermont at 2-1, and Len's Albany team is 1-3.

11/29: 60-69 at Kennesaw ST. We can't seem to play well on the road. 22 TOs. No one scored more than 11. We had lots of chances but never managed a key hoop when we needed one.

12/2: 65-70. 18 for Sink. We don't have a lot of offenses weapons and we're terrible with the ball- 28 TOs.

12/6: 92-67 over South Carolina Upstate here. Started Rob Dare at PG. He had 14, 2, 9. We'll need to see how he does on the road, of course. 20, 11, 3 for Joyn. +17 RBs, only 9 TOs.

We're 3-4. RPI only 307. The only thing we're doing well is rebounding, +8.7.

Albany is 3-4, Vermont 3-3.

Things are going along day by day. Despite everything I'm trying to do to mitigate the situation it is definitely a lonely life. Sleeping too much. That's definitely a sign of depression.

[Wayne23]

12/9: 67-79 at Prairie View. 18 for Sink, 18 for 6th man forward Mal Long; Long would start but his D is awful. May need to consider starting him anyway. 17 TOs.

12/13: 79-76 at Abilene Cretin, our first road win. Sub Mal Long got more minutes and led us with 17, 5, 4. 15 for Sink. 13 TOs, our best on the road to dat.

12/16: 65-62 over Tennessee ST. Two close wins in a row. 18, 4 for Sink, 14, 6 for Long. +8 Rbs but 20 TOs.

12/20: 73-67 at Perverterian. Another close game. 15, 8 for Dare, 14, 8 for Long. The two guys we inserted into the lineup after a few games are definitely making a difference. +9 RBs, 15 TOs, which is not bad for us.

We're 6-5 with 2 more before conf. play, both on the road.

12/23: 76-65 at Alabama ST. The win assures us of a winning record going into conf. play. 13, 3, 3 for Dare, 12, 2, 3 for Long, 11, 4 for Sitt. +16 RBs.

I'm drinking too much and sleeping too much. I'm getting all of my work done but other than that...

12/27: 71-85 at SIU-Edwardsville, but we knew they were the best team we'd face in the pre-conf season. Fouls (20 to their 13) and TOs (22) hurt. 25, 3, 4 for Sink.

7-6, RPI #222. +0.5 PPG, +7.7 RBs, +3.3 TOs (17.7-14.4- terrible). SG Rhee Sink leads us with 13.8 PPG, and Mal Long gets 10.8, but that is rising now that he plays starter's minutes. C Cole Joyn leads us with 8.5 RBs, and he's our best defender.

I'm trying to do more, and working to get back in shape. Taking lots of hikes.

[Wayne23]

1/6/2223: 54-71 at Maine. Ouch! Not the way we wanted to start conference play. We shot 33.3%. They went to the line 21 times and we went 8. No one scored more than 10. We need to do better than this.

The SG recruit signs.

1/10: 80-60 over Albany here, and bragging rights over my virtual friend Len who coaches Albany. 23, 6 for Sink, 18, 11 for Long. +12 RBs.

1/13: 65-83 at UMass-Lowell. We just don't play well on the road. Frustrating. 17, 3, 3 for Sink, who has been our best offensive player. 22 TOs.
Incidentally, the games are played in front of packed houses, in the holo. It's always noisy and it gives the home team a definite advantage. The players are programmed to be influenced by that sort of thing as real players are.

1/17: 88-70 over New Hampshire. Home sweet home. 16, 12, 4 for Joyn, 17, 10 for Long, 13, 6, 4 for Sink.

1/20: 68-79 at Stony Brook. They shot 57.7%. 16 for Sink, 13, 6 for Long.

1/24: 78-65 over Binghamton here. If we could play all our games at home we'd be fine. 22, 5 for Long, 17, 7, 6 for Sink, 12, 8 for Joyn. +8 RBs, 13 TOs. We were solid all night long.

1/27: 63-72 at Vermont. 18, 4 for Sink, 16 for Dare. They shackled Long and generally beat us up front. 20 TOs. Emma beat me. We're all 1-1 against each other at this point.

1/31: 82-72 over Hartford here. 21 for Long, 12, 9 for Joyn. +13 RBs, 13 TOs.

We're 11-10, 4-4, In a 2 way tie for 4th, one back of 1st. RPI #221. The conf is very bunched up. Two games separate 1st place from last at the halfway point. I suppose I'm doing okay for my first year as a head coach, but I'm competitive. I hate to lose.

+0.6 PPG, +6.8 RBs, +2.6 TOs. Sink leads us with 14.5 PPG. Joyn gets 8.2 RBs. Dare gets 4.2 assists.

My moods swing pretty wildly. Some days I'm fine, I take part in all kinds of activities, get social with my holo friends, read and relax, and feel just fine. On other days I'm on edge all day and night and can't focus or do much of anything. Maybe I need to create a holo therapist- actually, that may not be a bad idea. I know there are therapy programs in there I just hadn't thought of it.

[Wayne23]

2/7: 52-66. Our first in conference home loss, to Maine. We shot 25.9%. 18 for Sink but only two other players had more than 5 (11, 7).

2/10: 71-81 at Albany. We were down 17 at the half. 18, 9 for Long, 13, 4, 4 for Sink.

11-12, 4-6. Not good. We need to turn it around.

I am seeing a therapist in the holo, every three days. It's actually helping.

2/14: 68-54 over UMass-Lowell here. 14, 4, 4 for Dare, 11, 7, 5 for Joyn, 10, 8 for Long. +7 RBs. We looked good tonight.

2/17: 66-69 at New Hampshire. This is one I thought we had a shot at. And we did. We just couldn't bring it home. Poor shooting again and only sub forward John Weer had more than 10- 18, 5. He missed a three at the buzzer.

4 to play and we need to go at least 3-1.

The therapy is helping. When I feel down I allow myself a half hour to sit and just sink into it. I actually set a timer. When the time is up I get up and do something active.
Believe it or not it almost always works.

2/21: 68-61 over Stony Brook here. Balanced scoring, +11 RBs, only 11 TOs.

Mal Long got a bone bruise on his right bicep. He'll play but I don't know how effective he'll be.

2/24: 64-76 at last place Binghamton. 22, 5 for Sink, 19, 8 for Long playing hurt, 10, 9 for Joyn. +11 RBs. But it wasn't enough.

2/28: 61-56 over Vermont here. 14, 4, 6 for Dare, 14, 7 for Long. Solid D carried us.

Len, Emma, and I go 2-2 against each other in the regular season.

1 more to play, on the road with Hartford. It's a big game for us. We could finish as high as 3rd or as low as 7th.

3/3: 91-95. Very frustrating loss. We could have won this one. They scored the last 4 points due to a turn over and a foul on our part.20, 8 for Joyn, 19, 4 for Long, 15, 2, 6 for Sink. 20 TOs.

We end the regular season at 14-15, 7-9, tied for 6th in a 9 team conf. Not what we'd hoped for.

-0.2 PPG, +6.6 RBs, +2.0 TPOs (16 per game). Sink leads us with 14.2 PPG. Joyn gets 8.0 RBs, and Dare gets 4.1 assists.

Let's hope to do something in the AEC tourney.

[Wayne23]

3/4: At #3 seed New Hampshire, 12-17, 8-8. Beat them by 18, lost by 3.

3/5: 75-80 and that will end our season. We didn't play that badly, just not well enough to win, kind of the story of the season. 18, 5 for Sink, 12, 5 for
Joyn. Joyn is the only guy who plays much who is graduating and we have some decent players coming in.

4/2: The day after the season ending loss I went to work as usual. I have no idea what happened but there must have been some sort of an accident like the one that killed all of my crew mates. I woke up partially buried under debris, unable to move my extremely painful left leg. I was able to reach my communication device and contacted some of the robotic workers. I directed their efforts to get me free from the debris without having it fall on me and crush me, and then directed them regarding how to get me back to the dome where I'm living. They managed it.

They then brought me into the holo. I brought up the medical assistance program. We have every sort of medical holo program imaginable and holo "doctors" to treat any illness or injury, if it's treatable. The medics fixed my leg, treated the multiple cuts, scrapes, contusions, and abrasions, and put me in a recovery room. I started physical therapy a few days later, and today, for the first time, I was able to leave the holo. I won't be able to leave the dome for a few weeks but I am recovering.

4/3: #5 ranked Michigan ST wins the title.

4/4: Awards: Rhee Sink and Mal Long make the AEC 1st team, and Cole Joyn makes 2nd team.

4/9: Not moving. Stetson was very interested but MBAC gave me my chance. I'll stay at least one more season, maybe more.

Not able to hike or even boat. It's frustrating. There's still a fair amount of pain.

4/23: I ask for money but don't expect to get any.

I was right.

I'm able to do some light hiking and I can boat as long as I don't go too far, and let my robotic friends Lana, Jed, Len, and Emma do the labor intensive stuff.

[PointGuard]

[Wayne23]

5/1: #50 recruiting class, which is pretty good!

Vermont left the conference so Emma is now coaching Stony Brook to keep the rivalry among UMBC and Albany going.

I am able to go to work but only for two three hours sessions a day.

6/1: Looking at transfers.

Back to my full strength and my full work day, which I have decided is 8 hours, 5 days a week and 5 hours on the 6th day. That's enough, and it won't really make a big difference as to how much will get done before the settlers get here.

6/15: We get a shooting guard who looks like he'll help us.

6/16: We get a C who looks like a project.

6/26: One scholarship. We want a guard.

I have to say that working less is agreeing with me. The injury and enforced idleness, as well as going to therapy every other day have all seemed to help with my depression. I'm keeping busy on projects and hobbies I enjoy, almost all of which are in the holo.

7/22: Close to a real problem. Terra 2 has a very rich environment. Lots of plant life and animals of all types and sizes, from creepy crawlies to cow-like mammals
(We never got around to either seeing if they gave milk that we could digest, or could provide edible meat, before I lost the rest of my party.), to various kinds of wild, presumably dangerous animals. Everything had pretty much stayed far away until today when a big cat started sneaking toward me while I was standing at a construction site and supervising robotic workers and machinery. Weirdly, the noise didn't seem to frighten it off. I saw it as it went into a crouch, presumably to attack, from a distance of about 15 meters, and I quickly hopped onto a piece of heavy equipment while drawing my weapon.

I never leave the dome without weapons but I've just added something to increase my protection. From now on I will travel, at all times, with four robotic "bodyguards," two in front of me looking ahead and to the sides, and two behind me, looking behind and to the sides. Given that they are robotic they are capable of levels of visual and auditory acuteness that far surpass anything humans are capable of. They will also be armed, and instructed to use their weapons in case of possible attack. Robotic beings don't do well with nuance so I am writing a program that will set specific, even exact protocols regarding when to fire the weapons.
They will always fire at my verbal command, but I need them ready to do so if I should happen to be unaware of the danger for whatever reason.

9/18: Close to landing our recruit.

Soft pre-conf. schedule again. Didn't help us much with winning road games last season but I think we're a better team this year. Thin in the back court though.

The big cats remain too close for comfort. My bodyguards and I have had to shoot a few. We're not happy about killing the wildlife here and have done all that we can to interfere as little as possible with the planet's natural habitat, but if attacked we will defend ourselves.

9/25: We got our man, a PG, currently #166.

10/2: 1st day of practice. We're a better team than we were last year, by a lot up front, but about the same in the back court.

We're in the rainy season here. It's not a big deal. Temps are moderate and the rains are steady but not heavy. There's not a lot of wind. I'm going through the seasons for the third time and they are not at all extreme- a little snow in winter but temps rarely below zero to -5 C. The rainy season again, is moderate in every way. We plan ahead to do indoor work with the robotic crew during the rainy season because while a bit of wet doesn't harm them they can't work outside in steady rain; it damages them. In winter the snow is usually not enough to stop them from working at least part of the day outside.

So why do I need to be there to supervise the crews? Because I do. Things go smoothly most of the time but if there is any break in the routine or any breakdown, malfunction, or accident, work stops cold. The robots are programmed that way. I need to direct what needs to be done to get things going again.

I usually have three robotic crews working within a reasonable distance of each other and travel from worksite to worksite overseeing the work.

[Wayne23]

11/13: The season starts tomorrow at Alcorn ST. I'm looking forward to it. The off season activities are interesting but there's nothing like coaching games, prepping for them, designing practices for specific games and to correct weaknesses discovered in games- all of it.

11/14: 86-65 at Alcorn ST. 27, 5 for C Jim Bunn. 15, 5 for 6th man, forward Bill King. +12 RBs, 14 TOs. We were solid tonight.

11/17: 83-67 over Nicholls ST at home. 29 for Bunn. He's not a great rebounder, at least so far, but what a scorer! 17, 3, 8 for SG Rhee Sink. Only 9 TOs.

Again, the schedule is soft, but no softer than last season's. We're definitely a better team.

3 of the next 4 on the road, then one at home and 6 on the road.

11/20: Our recruit signs.

11/21: 88-71 at Bryant. 17, 10 for SF Mike Wash, 17, 5, 4 for Sink, 12, 1, 13 for PG Ron Dare. +16 RBs.

Amazingly consistent scores for the 1st 3 games.

11/24: 60-59 at Scared Heat. A slow paced, sloppy game. We were down 9 with 7:44 left but we never quit. We won it on Ron Dare's three with less than 2 seconds to play.

Balanced scoring, 7 players had between 5 and 12 points. We played good D.

We're 4-0.

11/28: 83-63 over Delaware here. We never trailed. 27, 7 for Wash, 17, 4 for Bunn, 10, 10 for PF Mal Long. +12 RBs, 12 TOs.

5-0, RPI #243.