The Quarantine Dynasty: The Career of Fatty McFat

[KC15]

So I’ve hit the new highlight (lowlight) of the quarantine. I’m breaking out the most random game I could find and starting a dynasty. Using NCAA March Madness 2005, I will be simming games of a new dynasty with the worst team I can find. After debating a number of factors, such as prestige level, last year’s record, and team ratings, I have selected the Campbell Camels. Prestige level is 1 out of 6, overall team rating is a D+, with an offensive rating of C and a defensive rating of D. They went 3-24 in 03/04, with a conference record of 3-17. My goal is to build this program into a dynasty, so I will remain at Campbell until I get fired.

On that note, I guess I’m packing my bags and heading to Bules Creek, NC, wherever the hell that is.

[KC15]

First look at my budget......oh, ****. I decide to use half my budget on team discipline and half on recruiting. That leaves me with a whopping 37 points to recruit with. I may have to host an open tryout on campus.

Team roster:
Starters
C #45, so, 53 overall, 6’8, 225
SF #54, sr, 66, 6’7, 195 - will be moving to PF
SG #1, so, 58, 6’7, 225 - will be moving to SF
PG #10, fr, 56, 6’2, 180 - will be moving to SG
PG #11, so, 74, 5’10, 160
Bench
PG #5, fr, 54, 6’1, 190
SG #4, fr, 53, 6’3, 185
PF #33, so, 48, 6’8, 215
C #32, so, 47, 6’9, 210
PF #44, so, 47, 6’6, 220
PF #21, jr, 47, 6’6, 205
C #20, fr, 39, 6’9, 195

God. This is gonna be rough. We’re gonna get killed on the boards. I decide to cut PF #21 and C #20. 6’9 and 195? Geez, go eat something.

[KC15]

Recruiting.....this is going to be more like begging guys to play here. I have no budget whatsoever. I have three scholarships available. I decide to stay local and go after SF Steve Blair from Greensboro. He’s 6’8 and 221 and, unlike most of my current players, can actually play a bit. He’s also considering UNC Greensboro and St Joseph’s.

I’m told his academic records are questionable. Great. I offer him anyway.

Game 1....how bad is this going to be?

Wait, I win. 59-57 over the powerhouse program of......Columbia. Still, I won’t be winless the first season. PG #11 leads the way, as I expect him to all season, with 16. SG #1 adds 15.

We follow up with a shocker over Iowa St, 58-55. PG#11 drops 21. Blair commits. Maybe this won’t be so hard after all. I’m feeling confident with only games against Toledo, who’s currently sitting at 0-3, and The Citadel left this month. I offer a scholarship to 3 star PF Mike Randle out of Holly Springs, NC.

[KC15]

So much for that optimism. We get smoked by Toledo, 69-52 before squeaking by The Citadel 49-48. I use up the rest of my recruiting points on Randle. He’s also considering Davidson and UNC Greensboro, so it appears he wants to stay in state. I have no budget to find out more.

We move into December and I get a notice saying SF #54 was caught cheating on an exam. The NCAA is already checking my out. I suspend him for 2 games, but I’m already running low on discipline points. Hope these clowns can keep their act together.

[KC15]

Great, another violation. Apparently C#45 doesn’t bother going to class. I suspend him for two game as well. It’s barely December and I’m out of recruiting budget and halfway through my discipline budget.

We fall to St John’s, lose by a point to Sacramento St, and get crushed by Northern Illinois to drop to 3-4 going into the holiday break.

Good news: Mike Randle commits!

Bad news: I’m told he’s a poor student with bad discipline. Just the kind of kid I need.

PG #2 gets into an altercation at a club, so I’m forced to suspend him 2 games. SG #1 is flunking out of school, but all I can do is suspend him for a game. I’m down to 2 points left. Interest from the NCAA is growing.

[KC15]

January brings us into conference play. It’s not pretty. We manage to pull out a win at home over Stetson and on the road at Central Florida and Jacksonville, but that’s it. We sit at 6-15, 3-11 in conference, heading into February. Reinforcements can’t come quickly enough.

We stumble our way through the rest of the season, managing just 2 more wins. The season low comes in the form of a 82-48 dismantling by Troy. Mercifully, we don’t make the Atlantic Sun tournament and finish the season dead last in the conference at 5-15, 8-19 overall.

SF #54 leads this mess of a roster with 10.8 points and 7.4 rebounds per game. PG #11 is our only other player in double digits, scoring 10.4 per game. Our team’s shooting ability is shocking, especially at the free throw line, where we shoot 53% as a team, with special recognition to SG#1 and his abysmal 41%.

Georgia State wins both the regular season and tournament titles and moves on to the tourney. UNC wins the whole thing, topping Cincinnati in the final.

Onto the offseason!

[KC15]

Unfortunately, we only have one senior graduating.

As we signed two players during the season, we only have one open scholarship to fill. I am hoping to be able to open up a couple of scholarships by cutting the current scrubs on our team.

I get a whopping 120 points to use for recruiting. That’s not going to go very far. I decide to go after the best players that show any interest in me, regardless of position. I stay in state to go after 2 star SFs Jared Singleton out of Carrington and Nathan Vilma out of Rocky Mount. I branch into Virginia to try to grab 2 star SG Roy Kennedy out of Lake Ridge.

I lose Singleton to Tennessee St (really, that’s who I’m recruiting against???) and Kenney to Liberty. Vilma commits. He must be terrible. I spend my remaining points on 1 star Cs Ty Armstrong from Lexington, VA and Jeff Tolbert from Carrington, NC. Because, you know, they’re big. Maybe nobody will offer them and I can bring them in.

[KC15]

Good news: Nobody offers Tolbert. I bring him in.

Bad news: He’s awful, ranked a 41. Even with this weak roster, I don’t want him. I also decide to cut whatever I can, which means saying goodbye to PF #44, C #32, and PF #33. That leaves me with a roster of 9.

Year 2:

My budget has grown to a massive 60 points each for recruiting and discipline. Better than the 37 it was last year.

Freshmen Randle and Blair immediately become part of my starting lineup. Not because they’re good, but because the rest of my roster is that bad. C#45 somehow regressed from a 53 to a 52, but he’s my only C, so he stays in the lineup. SG 1 and PG 11 both improve a point and round out the starting five.

C #45, jr, 52 overall, 6’8, 225
PF Randle, fr, 56, 6’10, 212
SF Blair, fr, 54, 6’8, 221
SG #1, jr, 59, 6’7, 225
PG #11, jr, 75, 5’10, 160
Bench
PG #10, so, 56, 6’2, 180
PG #5, so, 54, 6’1, 190
SG #4, so, 53, 6’3, 185
SF Vilma, fr, 49, 6’6, 223

Season 2 underway. Hope I don’t get fired!

[KC15]

Apparently nobody likes Bules Creek. Yeah, let’s go with that as the reason I can’t recruit. I have three scholarships available, so I go after James Simmons, a 3 star SF from La Grange, GA, Anthony Kinsey, a 7 foot center from Dune, NC, and Doug Spencer, a 6’10 PF from Cherryville, NC. Simmons would be a huge pickup, as currently every player on my roster is from NC.

A week in and my team is already a mess. Vilma is already in trouble for skipping class. I decide to take a stand and suspended him for 4 games. He’s at the end of my bench anyway, however limited it is.

I start off by getting destroyed by Pepperdine (by 26!) before knocking off Xavier. Huge, as all three of my recruits sign. I squeak by St Francis and easily handle Colgate to finish November at 3-1. Just as importantly, maybe going hard on Vilma is paying off. No more discipline problems.

As my in-season recruiting budget is spent, I focus on the games. Wins against Boston and Pacific and a loss against Long Beach St has the Camels headed into conference play at 5-2.

[PointGuard]

Would be interesting if you were to do a parallel DDSCB association with the same college to see how things might differ. from the results you're getting with your NCAA March Madness game.