The Phenom

[Wayne23]

2/15: 72-70. We got to a double digit lead quickly. Up 14 at the half. It was a real war all through the 2nd half. They cut our lead, took the lead a few times, tied it up a couple of other times. At the end we made enough foul shots to hang on, and they missed an open three at the buzzer. We escaped!

14, 7, 6 for Bree, 13, 8 for Toma, who was double teamed all night, 15, 3 for Gazu. Hawk was ineffective, and he fouled out after playing only 12 minutes, but Deke Juli was great, 10 and 7. We didn't get much else from the bench though.

+6 RBs but 16 TOs. Their guards had 31, 14, 7 to our 26, 10, 6, but that was actually really good, given how good their guards are.

We held them to 37.5% from the floor and only 5-18 on threes, but they hit 23-31 from the line to our dismal 12-22. We keep giving away freaking points at the line and it's making me crazy. We had 10 threes and that was huge. +10 2nd chance points was big, too.

2 up on Cincy, 3 on Memphis, but they are both really tough opponents.

Midge is feeling better but she was unable to make the trip to New Orleans with her team. They won by 18, which made her feel better. The tests haven't shown anything.

"They want to do a CT of my brain."

"Sounds like a good idea."

"It's scary though."

"The test?"

"No, what they might find."

"Better to know. They probably won't find anything worrisome but if they do, the earlier they find it the earlier they can fix it."

[Wayne23]

2/17: 76-56 against 11-14, 7-9 Central Florida here. They hung tough for a long time. Up 11 at the half.

23, 5 for Toma, 14, 6 for Juli, 11, 6 for Hawk. We held them to 31.4% from the field and 5-26 on threes, and, wonder of wonders, we hit 73.1% of our free throws!

Still up 2 over Cincy, but up 4 or more over the rest of the AAC, with 4 to play.

2/19: "It's a brain tumor..."


"Jesus!"

"Yeah."

"So what are they saying?"

"The doc is supposed to be here any minute. I'll let her explain it."

...

"Hi Doctor Rich. This is Phee."

"Hi Coach. Nice to meet you."

"Yes. So what's the story?"

"Well, the bad news is that it's a brain tumor. But there's good news as well. It's in an area of the brain that doesn't seem to do much. And in more than 90% of the cases with this kind of surgery the aftereffects are very minimal or nonexistent."

"Yes, that's good news."

"Doctor, i didn't ask this before, but can i put the surgery off until after the season?"

"How long would that be?"

"The absolute longest would be April 4."

"That would be unwise. This kind of tumor can grow, and it can reach an area of the brain that's more critical, causing long term effects that can really impact you for the rest of your life."

"****... How long is the recovery?"

"If we do the surgery in the next day or two you may be back for the NCAA tournament., or at least part of it."

"****!"

"Midge-"

"No, Phee, just shut up for a while and let me think."

"Coach, I advise you to think quickly. The sooner we schedule this the better the chance that you'll recover quickly and completely."

"Yeah..."

2/20: Our next two are on the road. If the surgery is while the team is away I'm staying here. Randy Cilk can coach the team.

"Well, I didn't want to, but I did it."

"You agreed to the surgery?"

"I fainted again during the night. Got up to go to the bathroom and on the way back I must have fainted. They found me on the floor. This morning I told Doctor Rich that she could schedule the surgery as soon as possible. She said she'd stop in and say when. I expect her soon."

...

"Hi Midge, Hi Coach. I can do the surgery on the 24th. I'm booked until then."

"So what can I expect?"

"Well, it will take a few hours. Obviously it's delicate surgery and you don't want me to rush. There should be no post-op pain, and when you wake up you should be lucid and clear headed. The following day we'll do another CT, and we'll do all kinds of mental function tests to determine that everything is working as it should. You won't like the tests, they're long and can be boring, but we need you to do your best to concentrate and stay focused so that we get accurate results."

We talked for a while longer. Both of us had questions and the doc was very patient and answered them all. She treated us well and never talked down or condescended, which we both really appreciated.

"So, if it's okay I'll go to Houston and then fly back to be here the night before the operation. But if you want me to not go to Houston, that's fine, too."

"No. Go. Hell, you can go to New Orleans for the Tulane game, if you want to."

"No way! I'm going to be here. After that we're off for a few days. The other guys can handle practice."

"Thanks... I really do want you here."

"So I should not go to Houston? That's fine."

"No, no. Houston's okay. Just be here after that."

"Absolutely!"

[Wayne23]

2/22: 82-47 at 11-14, 6-10 Houston. We took control fairly quickly. Up 24 at the half. Total blowout. Thankfully so because my mind wasn't on the game. At halftime I told Randy to take over and I just sat and (sort of) watched. I was glad when it was over. Couldn't wait to get on the plane for home.

Our guards were terrific, totaling 45, 8, and 8! 14, 7 for Hawk.

+9 RBs, 11 TOs.

I moved, probably permanently, from playing man to man about 60% to now about 80%.

2/23: Got back home a little after noon. The team flew on to New Orleans. Randy will report on that game.

I went to the hospital and we talked.

"So... if something happens-"

"STOP!"

"No, I've thought about this a lot and I need to say it. If something happens... well... I hope you'll remember me, but I also hope that you'll move on. You're a great coach, and that's a wonderful life. I love it as much as you do. But it doesn't mean that you might not meet someone else if you're open to it."

"But-"

"Please let me finish... And if I wind up some kind of ... I don't know... disabled person... you need to keep coaching. I know you'd want to take care of me and I'd want you to do that, unless it was so bad that it didn't make sense... anyway, live your life no matter what happens. I love you and I want you to be happy."

"I love you more than i ever thought I could love anyone. I predict all of this is worry for nothing. I also predict you're going to be fine, and back to coaching in April."

"I hope you're right!"

We said a lot more, of course.

2/24: I was there bright and early and kissed Midge as they wheeled her into the OR.

Then I waited, with her parents. We expected about a four hour wait.

After a little more than an hour Doctor Rich came into the waiting room. The expression on her face took my breath away. I was petrified about what she would say.

"Mr. And Mrs. Blake, Coach Nomakowski... I have terrible news... We lost her..."

"What the hell are you talking about! You said this was safe!"

"I'm sorry, Coach. It wasn't the surgery. We never even made an incision. She had a fatal allergic reaction to the anesthetic. She went into anaphylactic shock and died within seconds of the administration of the anesthetic. We spent the last hour or so trying to revive her but it was no use."

"How could this happen?"

"It happens far less than one time in a million. It would have happened with her first surgery, no matter what that was for."

"Why didn't you test for it ahead of time?"

"Coach, even administering a tiny dose would have killed her. That's how allergic she was. There's simply no way to test for that that would do any good."

I asked a lot of other stupid questions as Midge's parents just sat there and cried... Then I sat there and cried... I have no idea how any of us even got back to my place. I'm still in such shock that I can barely function, and even though I know it's real, I can't make it feel that way. It feels like we'll visit her in the recovery room in just a minute or so.

The doc gave us all sedatives and I was very tempted to swallow all of them... I didn't, but I did take one.

[Wayne23]

2/24: Coach Randy Cilk:

95-68 at 9-17, 5-12 Tulane. Up 11 at the half. They were unfocused for a while. I called a TO to focus them and it worked. We completely took over in the 2nd half. While I didn't feel we played our best ball, we did what we needed to do in a tough situation. The guys knew Midge, since she was at our practices when she could make it, and she served as an unofficial coach.

18, 3, 9, with 3 steals for Sila Gazu. 20, 6 for Bree, 18, 5 for Toma, 17, 4 for Hawk.

+9 RBs, 12 TOs. WE shot 54.7%, 42.9% on threes. But only 61.9% from the line.

2 up with 2 to play, both at home.

The women's team keeps winning but they're an emotional wreck. Lots of crying in the locker room before and after the game from what I hear.

They're 28-2, 17-1, #2 nationally, behind UConn, even though they beat them.

Phee: I've decided to take the rest of the regular season off. It's only two games, they're both at home, and we should win them all. I just can't go to the Mullins Center yet.

2/28: We had the funeral today. It was horrible and I'm trying not to think about it, She was cremated, as she wished to be. Her ashes went home with her parents.

[Wayne23]

3/1: Coach Cilk: There was a moment of silence for Coach Blake before the start of the game. The women's team was here. They weren't the only ones crying.

87-56 vs. 17-11, 11-7 Temple here. We were flat. Again tonight I felt they were distracted. But we led for most of the 1st half. Then we went on a run and were up 15 at the half. Again, I feel like we're distracted but it was still a rout.

27, 8 for Toma, 16, 6, 4 for Bree.

+12 RBs, 8 TOs. We held them to 30.6%, 20% on threes. But we shot 14-24 from the line. That may well do us in one of these nights.

We clinched. Only Cincy is anywhere close. Everyone else has dropped back by 5 or more games.

The women clinched the AAC a long time ago, but they're still winning.

Phee: Acting women's coach Nell Grey asked me to speak to the team at their practice tomorrow. I agreed but I am sure as hell dreading it.

3/2: I spoke to the women's team. It was from the heart and unrehearsed, and i choked up a few times. I guess it was kind of, "Win one for the Gipper," but I truly believe that the best tribute they can give Midge is to win the national title. But I ended with,

"But if it doesn't happen, you haven't let her down. You meant the world to her, win or lose."

The UMass Provost called me into her office. She told me she was making it mandatory that i see a therapist.

"Coach, this is a horrible thing you're going through, and there are a lot of ways you can make it more horrible. I need you to commit to one visit, and to staying for the whole session. That's all, just one visit."

I reluctantly agreed and called the name she gave me. Amazingly enough I was able to see her the today. Her name is Ruth.

"Coach, you're going through hell. Anyone who says they understand what you're feeling is an idiot. It doesn't hit any two people the same way. There are things that help and things that don't so I'm going to ask you a couple of things. First, are you drinking?"

"... You mean staying hydrated?"

"No. That's a good point too, but I'm talking about alcohol."

"No. I've never been a drinker. Outside of a toast at a wedding, and I only have a small sip then, I don't drink at all."

"Good. Don't be offended, I have to ask. Drug use?"

"The doc gave me a sedative to help me to sleep. I took it the night Midge died but I didn't like the way it made me feel in the morning, so, no. And I've never taken any other drugs."

"Good again. Exercise?"

"I always have, but since Midge died..."

"Do it. Start tomorrow morning. Exercise fights depression. It's really important."

"Okay."

We talked for the full 50 minutes or whatever it was. I think it might have helped.

[Wayne23]

3/3: Randy Cilk:

76-57 vs. 14-14, 10-9 South Florida here. It took us a while to get going. Finally got the 10 point lead after 12 minutes. Up 9 at the half. There was never any doubt about this one.

23, 3, 7 with 3 steals for Gazu, 19, 10 for Hawk, 14, 5, 3 for Howe.

+7 RBs, 12 TOs. We held them to 38.9%, 6-20 on threes.

We end the regular season #8, NET #8, 27-4, 17-3, up 2 on Cincy, 6 or more on the rest.

#3 Offensive NET, #6 Overall NET, 11th in RBs. +13.4 PPG, +5.0 RBs, -3.4 TOs.

Sam Toma leads us in points, 15.8, and RBs, 7.9. Jay Bree is 2nd in points, 3rd in RBs, and Abe Hawk is 3rd in points, 2nd in RBs. Our #2 through #7 scorers get between 11.7 and 7.4, so a lot of guys can do damage.

#9 seed Central Florida, 12-18, 7-13, in the quarter finals of the AAC. We won by only 2 there in January, but by 20 here in Feb.

Scout Yaph King: We're better at every position, and our bench is better. I am mystified by the fact that we only won by 2 at their place.

They don't have a go to guy but we should pay special attention to their PG and their C.

I don't know if Coach will be back for the playoffs. We haven't seen him or heard from him.

On O, bang it inside as often as possible and when they collapse the D, take the open outside shot.

Phee:

"Ruth, I don't think I can go back to work."

"Phee, coaching is what you do. More than that, in many ways it is who you are. The longer you stay away the harder it will be for you to return and that would likely send you into a downward spiral that could be very damaging and long lasting."

"Still..."

"You're depressed. The best cures for depression are exercise and work. You need to get back in the gym tomorrow."

"I don't think I can. Can you prescribe something?"

"No I can't. Or at least I won't. You need to do the work and get through this."

"I'll never get through it."

"Yes you will. You will probably never forget Midge. I hope you don't. But if you exercise, go back to work, limit your grieving="

"Wait! What?"

"We talked about that. I told you to limit your grieving. 2-3 times a day sit in chair, don't lie in bed but sit, and grieve. Cry, wail, scream- whatever you need to do. Set an alarm for 20 or 30 minutes. When the alarm goes off, you're done. Wipe your tears, go for a walk, or do some work. Three times a day at the absolute most, and that's all the grieving you allow yourself. Do it. It works. Anyway. Exercise, work, grieve, and try to live a life. It may take a long time but sooner or later you will put Midge in the proper perspective, remembering her lovingly and going on with your life, as she told you to do the night before she died."

[Wayne23]

3/8:I decided that Ruth was right. I went back to practice the next day, made a short speech thanking everyone for their support, and told them that the best way they could help me would be to try to practice hard and play their best.

Today we start the post season. It's not easy.

86-64 . Took us 2 minutes to score, but then we woke up. 10 point lead after 11 minutes. Up by 12 at the half. It turned into a rout. Emptied the bench early.

25, 6, 5 with 6 steals for Hawk, as good a game as he's ever had. When I took him out late in the game he hugged me and said, "That was for you, Coach." Really choked me up.

13, 2, 5 for Howe, 12, 7 for Toma. Good bench play.

We shot 53%, mostly because we moved without the ball really well.

#4 seed Southern Methodist, 19-11, 11-9, in the semifinals. We beat them by 27 and 26.

Yaph King: With this club we just need to do what we did in the regular season. We're better at every position, and our bench is better than theirs. They play an outside game on O and can shoot the three so I'm telling Coach to forget the 2-3, and go with mostly man to man with some 3-2 if they start hitting the outside shot.

On O we just need to take care of the ball and move without the ball.

Phee: I have to say it feels good to be back.

[Wayne23]

3/9: 96-66. Our D was awful early on, but we kept getting it inside. Up 13 at the half. The D got WAY better (40.4%), and it turned into another rout. I was able to empty the bench early again so my starters should go to the finals not over tired.

Sub Deke Juli led us with 15, 7, 4. 14, 4, 7 for Bree, 12 each for Hawk, Gazu, and Howe.

+13 RBs, but 16 TOs, which is way too many. Points in the Paint were 40-16 so we absolutely dominated inside. They had no answers.

19-13, 11-9 Memphis shocked #17 Cincinnati in the semis. Memphis may be a tougher matchup for us. They won by 7 there. We won by only 2 here.

Yaph King: They beat us there because we couldn't hit our free throws or our threes, and our D was mediocre.
When we beat them at our place the D was better, we hit 10-22 on threes, but we were a terrible 12-22 from the line. So we generally played better but still barely won.

Looking at the stats we score 8.4 more per game and give up 1.1 less. We rebound slightly better, turn it over less often, and shoot better on threes. Looking at video they have an excellent backcourt, and their bench is better than ours.

On O we need to get it inside, get it inside, get it inside, and take care of the ball. They press often so we need to break the press. We had too many TOs in both games.

On D, again tonight, I think we go with man to man and the occasional 3-2. But this team gives us fits. I think we need to get our minds right or we might play not to lose, and that would be fatal.

Oh, they're favored by 2 1/2. Coach used that as a motivator today, and probably will during the game if it's close.

[Wayne23]

3/10: 86-69 and the title! We fell behind early, caught up and took the lead, then it went back and forth. Up 5 at the half. Too many whistles! We slowly and steadily stretched the lead throughout the 2nd half with the final score being our biggest lead of the night.

We really did all the things we needed to do to win- played decent D, took care of the ball reasonably well, had effective bench play (15, 11, 2 to 10, 8, 3), stopped the outside shot (They were only able to take 16 threes), and our guards came up BIG!

19, 11 for Toma, 16, 11 for tourney MOP Abe Hawk, 15, 0, 6 for Gazu, 16, 2, 6 for Howe.

+16 RBs which was a really big factor. We shot 48.4%.

On to the Big Dance!

I have to say that going back to coaching was absolutely the right thing to do. When I'm working Midge isn't totally out of my head, but it's bearable. I have other things to focus on. The tough times are the nights. I don't even try to sleep until I'm exhausted, and when I finally do sleep the dreams are pretty awful. Ruth says this will pass. I hope so but DAMN I miss Midge.

Excerpts from the Presser:

(Should have said this earlier but in the Press Conf. after my first game back I made it clear that I would accept no questions related to Midge.)

Q: Coach your kids came up really big against an opponent that gave them fits in the regular season. What was different?

Coach: I want to say determination. That was a really big part of it. The kids wanted this one as much as they've wanted any game all season, and it showed.

Q: Tell us about MOP Abe Hawk.

Coach: Abe has been steadily improving all season. I think he's right where we want him to be, and that showed in this tournament. He was a real force.

Q: How far can you go in the the NCAAs?

Coach: We're certainly good enough to make a real run, and I hope we will. But skill isn't always enough in March. The teams that go deep always catch a break or two. A little luck helps a lot.

Q: Coach, I'm hesitant to ask this question but I think it's a fair one and I hope you'll respond-"

Coach: Jay, we go back a long way and we've always had a good relationship. Tread carefully.

Q: I'm going to take the chance... I'm wondering, and I think most people are, if you've given any thought to your coaching future?

Coach: ... Yeah... I've only given it a little thought, and yes, this is bordering on an area I want to stay away from with the press. I'm torn. Staying will make me face lots of painful memories every day, which I'm doing every day... Leaving?... Well... frankly, I just don't know right now. Nothing else on this topic please.

Q: So a #1, a #2?

Coach: I'll be very disappointed with less than a #2, and i hope we get put in a region where we have a shot to go deep. We'll see what happens.

3/12: We're ranked #7, NET #7.

#3 South. I feel disrespected. #4 ranked Michigan ST is #2, #5 Kansas #1 in the region. A tough draw, but, we'll do what we can.

#14 Rider, 20-12 in the opener. If we play our game we'll be fine.

Midge's team easily won the AAC tourney and are #1 South, #3 overall. If things go as expected #1 UConn will face #2 overall Ohio State in the national semifinal and then the winner will face UMass in the title game. We'll see.

[Wayne23]

3/17: 74-67. They hung with us for a long while, Up only 4 at the half. Tied with 8 minutes left. They stayed with us until the final minute. Part of it was that the zebras were calling everything and many of the calls were awful. Hawk and Toma were in foul trouble all night, and neither played many minutes. Fortunately our subs played well, 27, 14, 6 to 13, 9, 4. They were the difference.

15, 3, 5 for Gazu, 13, 9 for Toma, 11, 4, 4 for Juli, and 8, 5 for Chris Burr.

+8 RBs, and they were 36.8% from the field, 5-22 on threes. Yet again we were awful from the line, 17-29.

#6 seed, #25 ranked Texas A & M in the 2nd round.

Yaph King: We're better but we need to play. If we play as we did against Rider we'll go home.

The women won their opener by 39.